In over-time

I’d say its pretty official. I’d say I hit that wall I usually drive into at some point during any given semester. Some semesters, some classes I hit it earlier. Some I hit it later. I’d either say I’ve already hit it and I hit it so hard I’m too disoriented to realize I hit it, or I’m seeing the big-bad-brick-wall looming ahead and pressing the accelerator to just get it the hell over with already. ‘Cause that last bit I just said…that about sums it all up to me. Let’s just get this shit over with already.

As is standard accompaniment with my academic burnout comes a cursory review of past burnout experiences in a hapless attempt to compare, contrast, manufacture patterns, etc. Last time it was a literature course where I was really bored with going absolutely nowhere in course discussions. I started shirking my reading requirements, and it didn’t even matter because I would ace tests without even studying for them. That sf class had about 35% to be interested in; the rest was dry dry dry. This semester I never really lost interest in that way. This semester I blame (I know, I know…its always easier to point the finger elsewhere, right? Shut up.) several different things, but I think a lot of it falls to the expectations of the instructor. For example, to me the material became redundant…yet we had to post our reactions to it before 8PM every Sunday night. To me the class structure became redundant…10 students gave individual presentations for the first half, then without fail we come back from our break and straight into more information that sometimes was already covered in the first half of class. To me, the schedule of graded assignments was pretty absurd. To me, abiding by APA format without a formal introduction other than “The manuals are available on the web” (they sure are, by the way…all five different versions that report conflicted information…how helpful!) was incredibly unrealistic. To me, last class really became the camel’s back-breaking straw when, not only did she not have our papers finished and graded but she attempted to sit with us in-between presentations to go over them…sorry, a hushed review without being able to take it home ain’t gonna cut it. (Bear with me, folks, this is just me journaling a rough draft of what will be on my evaluation.)

So, here comes the rest of the inevitable: What the hell am I doing and what should I be doing? One three-hour grad-level course and an 8-5 job kicked my ass this semester. Furthermore, is an MA in educational development really something I want to pursue?

There it is in all its histamine-blocking frustration. Don’t give it too much thought. This was meant a purge and probably doesn’t merit analysis. Here, I’ll lighten the mood:

Annie is very cool. During our walk yesterday we discovered some car/house keys lying in the road. Since they had one of those Harris Teeter Double-Secret Special Club Member cards on it, she drove it to the grocery store as they would able to contact the person. Isn’t she nice?